New Semester

Well, I can deny it no longer. A new semester has begun. But it's my last one! Of course I have the usual first week "syllabus need a brown bag to breath anxiety attack" but other than that it hasn't been too bad. With the new semester and the new year, I have some things I want to focus on. I realized at the end of last semester that I really could probably spend an hour less on papers/homework and get in a 40 minute run and 20 minutes of quiet time...and really be better off in the long run. If I graduate in May with a great GPA but the rest of my life is a mess, that's not good! So I ask that you keep me accountable. In one of my Bible studies we're going through Romans and in the other John, so that should be good for keeping me in the word. I am also reading a book called Contentment and it has short devotionals- perfect for when I have 5-10 minutes but not enough time for an in depth Bible Study. Other areas:

Toes- My toes/feet could probably be used in a nursing book for a bad case of something gross! (Is it sad that I've actually given that some thought because I could use the money?!). I am trying to be more diligent in using my nail medicine and lotion. Hopefully that helps!

Teeth- I have two fake teeth (and yes, I do realize that by admitting this my chance of finding a potential boyfriend diminishes greatly) and have been doing ok in keeping my gums and teeth healthy, but the flossing and extra care they need has been lacking. Don't want these fake babies to fall out. That would be even more attractive!

Tush/Tummy- I am making a concentrated effort to exercise more regularly. Recently I saw a quote that said "Somewhere there is someone busier than you who is running." So I'm trying to run 4 days a week and do strength training/Pilates/Jillian Micheals, 2 times a week. So far so good. Pant size hasn't shrunk yet, but hopefully my graduation I'll be slimmer!

Trust- This goes with what I was saying before (about being more intentional about quiet times), but it is such a hard area for me- trusting God for my day, for my future...for everything. It's so challenging, but I am striving to trust each day more and more.

Time- Again, goes with what mentioned above, but I need to keep better track of my time. Yes reading blogs, facebook, pinterest, and email are good things, but I can spend way too much time on them. I do have the time to get everything done in a day if I prioritize, set limits and keep focused. Hopefully this will translate into more blogging as well. I tend to think I don't have time to do it, when in fact I do if I would just get off facebook/pinterest and write something! (PS- I am going to start a segment "Deep Thought with Dani." Not sure what day of the week I'll try to post it, or it might be random, but be on the look out for some real "thought provoking" discussion.)

I think that about covers it. Don't be afraid to keep me accountable- ask me, encourage me, challenge me. The next few months will be intense, but I really want to end them being better spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically fit than I am now. Prayers appreciated!

Christmas

So Christmas break at home was wonderful. The drive had a lot to be desired, but it was dry to and from and no major traffic. I got home Thursday evening before Christmas, and Mom, Dad, Alisha and I headed out around noon on Friday up north to Little Eden for the weekend. It was a great time- watching movies, shopping, running with Dad, and Alisha and I snow skiied (more on that later). The rest of break I worked for the boss man at PGC, saw friends and had family get togethers. It was all a lot of fun, but not nearly as relaxing as I would have liked. I got back to West Chester on Jan 9 and the past two weeks have worked at my internship. This past weekend I went with a few friends up to a cabin and it was so refreshing to just do nothing. We stayed up late, got up late, watched movies, listened to music, talked, ate good food, went on a walk, did crafty things...It was exactly what I had been missing from break at home. So perfect.

I start classes next week, so the fun and games will be over. This semester looks like it will be a challenging one- 4 classes and my internship. But it is the last one! Come May 14, school will be out forever! At least for me! :) I might do something more with licensure, and look into becoming a registered play therapist, but there will be no Dr.Dani Rupp in my future! So the countdown begins- 15 weeks. Piece of cake, right?

Now backtracking a bit to our adventures up north.

It snowed Friday night and Saturday morning was so pretty.

Break was so much fun with my lil sis!

Mom and Dad posing in front of our cabin.

It snowed just enough that 50% of the slopes were open. Alisha and I made the most of what was open and we were successful in staying off the closed ones.

Now the black diamond slopes have names like Nosebleed, Wipeout and Thor and it is really humbling when you are barely making it down slopes named Giggles, Honey Bear, and Emmy!

Alisha on the ski lift. Getting off and on the ski lift was one of the most challenging things of the day!

Well, that, and trying to get down black diamonds!!! Wipeout!

Brr! Cold ski lift!

Right after that picture was taken, I went to put the camera in the case, and then back in the plastic zip loc. But in the meantime, the zip loc fell off the back of chair! Alisha was laughing, but I was pretty concerned- my debit card, license, cash...all in the bag! She told me that I would find it more funny after we got it back. Thankfully she noticed right where it fell, so we skied down the slope and were able to find it. These things always happen to me!

We had such a great time and made so many memories. I am adjusting to life back on the east coast, but will always have a special place in my heart for home and family. You are never too old to miss home!

Merry Belated Holidays

Can't believe the holidays are over! I was too busy living them to write about them. Hoping to get those posts up soon. Also hoping to still get Christmas gifts in the mail. Oops! But I guess a little extended holiday cheer has never hurt anyone. I should really work on something tonight. I have a long "to do" list that somehow did not manage to get itself done while I was at home. I'm drove back to PA yesterday and tonight I am just really tired and worn out. The drive, internship and adjusting back has tuckered me clear out. It is good to be back, but I would have loved some more time at home. I would appreciate your prayers as I start back into life here. I can already feel the stress starting to return! A good nights sleep will help that, but I also need to be focused and motivated the next two weeks so I am prepared and ready for the semester to start. Graduation- May 14! Work- The rest of my life! lol. Praying for God to give me the grace to enjoy, be content and appreciate this next semester. For now I'm going to be a nerd and go to bed and read a book. More later!

Masterpiece

What do you think of when you hear the word "masterpiece"? A lot of images come to my mind. Van Gogh's Starry Night....

The Mona Lisa

The Sistine Chapel

All of these works took a long time, great effort and much determination. I hardly count myself in the realm of masterpieces. :)

Silly, yes. Child of God, yes. His creation, yes. But masterpiece? Really? Me?! Surely not. I doubt it.

But take a look at Ephesians 2: 10. "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." I was reading this in my quiet time the other day and cannot get it out of my mind.

God does not look down on us and say we are "ok" or "good enough" or "well, I guess that's as good as it's going to get." No, he calls us his masterpiece. Masterpiece- n. an outstanding work, the greatest work, outstanding achievement, work of art, workmanship, Dani (insert resounding rendition of "one of these things is not like the other").

I don't feel like a masterpiece. In fact most days I feel like a mess. I don't look like a masterpiece. More days than not are "brown paper bag" days (you know, those days your hair won't cooperate and your face is broken out and nothing looks right and if you must leave the house it would just be easier to put a brown paper bag with holes cut out for a mouth and eyes over your head.) I don't act like I'm a masterpiece. Most days I am critical of myself. But yet God claims me as His masterpiece. The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, great Creator of the universe, looks down at little old me and says "Yes, she might be a little rough around the edges, she might need a little work here or there, but I made her and to me she is perfect. She is my masterpiece, created to do the good things I have planned for her."

There is such a huge gap between what God sees when he sees me in comparison to how I see myself. I see scars, blemishes, too much fat here, not enough there...And that's just the outside. Don't even get me started on the icky stuff that creeps into my heart. Yet God knows all of that, and yes he wants to change and transform me. And for sure he desires that I take care of my body and keep it healthy He wants me to keep working on my weakness and growing in Him, but he says I am His, and He does not just merely claim me saying "yeah, that girl over there, I guess she's mine..." But he calls me his child, He calls me by name, and He calls me a masterpiece.

Look at it this way. For a minute pretend a miracle happened and I was able to create a piece of art that was more in depth than cutting and pasting or coloring. And let's say a little bit of Disney magic was in the air and this piece of art could talk. So I spend hours on this work of art. I touch up here and add something there. And finally with a sigh I say "It is done!" I sit back to admire my work, to take it all in. And then this piece of art, this canvas I have slaved over and poured into, says "Hey you. I want to see myself." And let' s pretend that a canvas talking to me is normal and that I'm not crazy and I don't go running from the room. So I bring out a mirror...so excited. Waiting. Anticipating. Knowing I created something wonderful, perfect in my image and so unique that nothing will ever come close to replicating it. The canvas looks in the mirror and looks shocked. "I am no masterpiece!" it cries. "Look at this spot and look at that over there. Oh, no! This will not do!" "But you don't understand." I plea "I spent hours and days and weeks on you. You are perfect. I want that chip there. I want that mark there. It give you character. It makes you unique. It makes you, you- separate from all other canvases." But the canvas, unable to be consoled, begins to cry and continues to criticize. "I hate myself. I don't want to look like this. I want to be taller, narrower, more green here and less orange there. Shade this part and redo that part." I, the artist, am crushed. I am hurt. I want nothing more than this piece of art, this masterpiece, to take delight in what I have made. To approve and shine with confidence. I worked so hard, poured in so much, see so much potential...and the piece of art sees none of it. Not only that, but this piece of art refuses to show itself to the world. It does not want to be on display, and will only do so if it is covered with a piece of brown paper canvas. It is a masterpiece, but insists on living like the scum of the earth.

Oh how my actions and thoughts about myself must grieve God. He has so much more for me than I allow Him to give me. He has so much He wants to do in and through and around me. I am so unbelievably humbled and challenges by this.

And I challenge you to put your name in this verse. Make it personal and start to live it. And maybe you already are and that's great. Then encourage those of us who struggle. Remind us who are maker is and, that while we should always be striving for growth and transformation, God has called us His masterpiece.

For Dani is God's masterpiece. He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so that I can do the good things he planned for me long ago.

Claim it! Believe it! Live it!

Lady In Waiting

I get tired of waiting

Will my number ever be called?

When will it be my day?

My time?

My love?

God, what are you trying to teach me?

What am I not understanding?

I want to hurry it up

Move on

Rush forward

But that's not Your plan

My plan rarely is

So I sit here and wait

And pray

And trust

While I wait, I will stand firm

I will learn to love You more

And embrace who I am in You

Your daughter

Your beloved

And I will celebrate

Because my number will be called

And I trust my day will come

In Your time

Bound in Your love

Matt Redman: Never Once - Official Lyric Video

Never Once

Never Once

Matt Redman

Standing on the mountaintop

Looking just how far we'v come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

I was listening to this song this morning as I got ready for church and was overcome by God's faithfulness in my life. This past couple of months have been a challenge and a struggle. Many ups and downs. Good days and not so good. School, life, internship, walking through tough times with people I hold dear...Yet my heart can say that I never walked alone and God was so faithful and I am so blessed. I look back and see God's fingerprints all of the place. I might have felt alone, but there is no doubt in my mind that I most certainly never was. Even when I was stubborn, thinking I could do things on my own, and left God in the backseat, He was still there. I am so humbled by His mercy, His grace and His faithfulness.

It was God who brought me through this last semester. The papers, presentations, interactions with classmates, my internship (which I did not expect to be so overwhelmingly draining!)...And I have learned and grown so much. A few things I've learned:

- How to park my car in a tight spot and not hit the family car behind me!

- That walking to class in the rain can be good for fresh air, but you might just get hit by a tidal wave from a car hitting a puddle at 45 mph.

- Wandering out in the middle of the night to pee while camping might not be the best idea.

- Even at 26 years of age, you can still feel homesick and miss family.

- That you are never too old to have your mom proofread your homework.

- I don't know how I managed to live to age 26 without a GPS. It has saved me on numerous occasions- driving in a new area can be tricky!

- Hills that go up don't necessarily go back down.

- Papers don't write themselves, even if you do pray and ask God for a miracle.

- God might not write your paper, but he does care even about those little things and will help you get it done!

- Always make sure to proofread, even emails. I may or may not have sent an email to a prof that said "Hell Dr...." Instead of "Hello Dr...."

- The end of your rope is just the beginning of God's

- Standing under mistletoe does not guarantee you'll get a kiss

(Ok, so I made that one up. I haven't actually done it. Not for lack of thinking about it. I just have too good of friends who won't let me!)

Hmmm. I think that's about it. But through it all the biggest thing I've learned is that God is faithful and will provide- whether that be energy, friends, a clear mind, wisdom, discernment....It all comes from Him. And I am thankful for every one of you and your prayers, support, letters, packages and love. We did it! One more semester to go! But for now, I'm not going to think about that. I think instead I'll head downstairs, grab a cup of coffee and help decorate the Christmas tree....

Then tomorrow I might want to start thinking about starting my Christmas shopping....

Giving Thanks

Well, this time of year has rolled around again. The time when we all get together with family, eat too much food, watch football, and endure little sleep and massive, crazy crowds to get that one good deal we can't live without.

It has always bugged me how early Christmas music, decorations and promotions start. I had a friend who heard Christmas music in a store in October! Thanksgiving gets totally overlooked. But it's more than Thanksgiving feeling left out. I think Thanksgiving was strategically placed in our calendars. It is a time to stop, reflect, and be truly thankful for everything God has given us before the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season begins. It serves to ground us in what is really important, to remind us of our priorities, and keep everything in perspective, which is very difficult during the holiday season. It is so easy to get caught up in the gift buying, food making, and house cleaning that you forget why you do any of it. So I encourage you to take time today and make a list. It may sound cheesy, but do it anyway. Write down what you are thankful for and keep the list. Refer to it often, especially when the stress of the holidays is high. Remember what is important, who is important and at the end of the day, what really matters.

I am thankful for:

- Eternal life- I am so grateful that my Savior took my sin and died for me so that I may have eternal life. I also have the peace and comfort of knowing that I will once again see those who have made a commitment to Christ in heaven.

- Salvation- Along those same lines, I have the privilege to be in communion and in a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe! He is my source of strength, guidance and refuge.

- Religious Freedom- Many places cannot freely meet and worship. I am free to share my faith and worship as I please.

- Bible Study girls at home and Community Group here- Fellowship with other believers is such a gift.

- A strong Christian heritage. I did a family genogram for a class in grad school and it was amazing to actually see how many generations have passed this down. Not many can say that!

- Family- along those same lines, not many can get together with extended family and get along as well as both sides of my family do. Not only that, but we have a good time! Laughing, sharing, and praying for one another. A huge blessing in my life!

- My childhood- This might seem odd, but I am working in an agency that helps children who have mental health needs. Some of them have the saddest, most heart breaking stories. Sometimes just reading their case notes about brings me to tears. The abuse, neglect, abandonment, violence...I ache for the hurt and pain these kids have gone through and thank God that he sparred me that kind of a history. It is becoming more and more apparent that my loving, caring, affectionate, supportive and carefree childhood is becoming the exception, not the norm. Hug your kids extra tight today!

- My Mom and Dad- they are always there for me, to listen, encourage and offer advice. I know they pray for me, love me, and are proud of me. You never get too old for that! I love you!

- My siblings- they are great! Even though we're kind of spread out right now, we still manage to stay in touch. I love you!

- Friends- all over the United States and the world! Indiana, Texas, Michigan, PA, Ohio, Nebraska, Florida, California, Mexico, Venezuela, Guatemala...the list could go on and on. The warmth of friendship means so much!

- Education- As much as I complain about it, I am grateful for the opportunity to go to Grad School. It has been a great opportunity to increase my knowledge and learn more. I am even thankful for loans without which I would not have been able to go back to school. Though I will be paying them back for the rest of eternity!

- Health and safety. I am healthy and God has kept me safe through many adventures. I also have the physical ability to run and exercise and even though I often don't have or make the time to do so, it is something that should not be taken for granted.

- The beautiful fall colors and mountains of PA

- A warm, cozy house with a family who I get along great with! Such a blessing to me!

- Support from so many in my life!

- This might seem silly, but from all my travels I'm really grateful for toilets that flush, toilet paper that goes in the toilet, hot showers, a car to get from point A to point B, and cereal!

I could probably go on and on, but that's a pretty decent list.

Lord, may I always have a thankful heart in all things- the mountain tops and the valleys, the good and the bad, the times of stress and of rest. My circumstances may change, but may my heart be ever faithful and thankful to You.

heaven

Wow! Two posts in one day. I'm either really procrastinating or inspired. Probably procrastinating! Anyway this past weekend I attended a retreat for young adults at the church I've been going to- Covenant Fellowship. The topic was Heaven and it was such a powerful and emotional weekend. It was refreshing to fellowship with other believers, the worship was so meaningful and the speakers did an excellent job of covering different aspects of heaven. I was very challenged and yet at the same time renewed.

For the first time I made a pretty basic connection even though I've been a Christian since I was little. I realized that not only did Christ's death on the cross make it possible for me to be saved, it made it possible for me to go to heaven. But not only that, it was because of his death that I have hope that those I love who have died are in heaven. I usually equate the cross with salvation and me going to heaven someday, but as we sang about heaven and worshiped I was overcome with gratitude for Christ's work on the cross. Because of his willingness to experience hell I don't have to, and more than that I have peace and hope when it comes to death. I was especially thinking of Grandma and Grandpa Gnagey and that because of Jesus taking the penalty for sin, I know they are in heaven and that is such a comfort. I thought of them a lot, did a lot of crying and grieving, but it wasn't a distraught grief- it was an "I miss them, but I'm so glad they are in heaven" grief. I closed my eyes and saw them in heaven, worshiping, bodies and minds made new, no more tears, no more pain and I wept at the beauty of it all and in gratitude for what my Savior has done for me and them.

Thank you Jesus for enduring the cross and for loving a wretched sinner like me.

Below are two wonderful Matt Redmen songs we sang this past weekend. May your hearts be encouraged by them.

Endless Hallelujah - Matt Redman - Lyrics